When do I lead and when do I follow?

    A friend and colleague of mine (Robert Bosworth: Trained Musician©) mentioned the definition of the verb “to accompany” in one of his videos the other day.  His definition was to go somewhere with someone—not simply to follow.  This simple little bit of information was a lightbulb for me.  As collaborative pianists, sometimes we follow the singer but other times, we lead and might even drive the tempo when necessary.  This all begs the question, when do I follow, and when do I lead, or even drive the tempo?  My mentor in grad school used to say it was like there was a rope between me and my singer.  Sometimes I pull, sometimes the singer pulls, but the rope never goes slack.  It’s a conversation or better said, a dance between two musicians that are telling the same story, and walking on the same journey.
    The absolute simplest answer is whomever has the smallest note values, can control the tempo.  If my singer needs me to go faster, and I have a whole note under their quarter notes, there’s not much I can do about changing that tempo.  The other side of that is I can easily help my singer through a long held note by adding some forward motion to the moving line underneath them.  Case in point, if I am playing an audition, and the tenor is singing Dalla sua pace from Don Giovanni, there is absolutely nothing I can do to help until at least measure 9 if they start too slow (yep, I’ve recently had a conversation about this very piece with a student tenor. “You really don’t want to go that slow, and I can’t help!”)
    So really, how do I know when to follow or when to lead?  Another simple answer is to go to the score.  If the are markings such as colla voce, fermatas over the vocal line, or if the singer has way too many fast notes to sing, it is definitely my job to follow.  To me, the heart of this question comes down to breath.  Singing always comes down to breath—the speed of the breath before their onset yes, but also the speed of their breath line.  Phrasing, whether we are speaking or singing is based in the breath of the phrase and the text.  Yes it’s placement of consonants, speed of vibrato, and the connectivity between consonant and vowel but, even all of that can be traced back to the speed of the air behind the sound.  If I were collaborating with a string player, I would call it bow speed.  A pianist can tell so much by the speed and direction of the air within the phrase.  It is a unique way to listen to but is so helpful when I am trying to dance with a singer.
    This also means that I need to do the work on my end.  I need to go into rehearsals with my text translated, having learned the vocal line as well as the piano part, and yes…I need to have sung the vocal line (with or without text) by itself and also while I play the piano part.  Yes, we’re pianists and sometimes singing is really uncomfortable but oh my goodness does it tell me a lot!  I know exactly how much time a human needs to take a breath, or where I might want to help by moving a phrase, or where they might need more time.  If I have learned my part, translated the text, spent time with the poetry, and sung the vocal line while I play, I am in the best possible position to have a conversation with my singing partner—listening to the give and take within the piece, and create a story that we can dance together.